An old photograph of a parachute jumper. The image has been edited. The UK's Reform Party logo has been composited onto one of the parachutes.

Read to the end for political reformations such as:

  • A brief little reminder that Reform UK is a private company, not a political party;
  • We do a little parachuting.

Reform’s success in the recent general election has been a bit like claiming you’ve had cosy fireside chats with the top brass at Microsoft, because you once rented out an entire conference room to yourself. They are bullshitting on their CV in a way that most of us do, only on the political plane, and at a much larger scale:

https://ludic.mataroa.blog/blog/the-complex-problem-of-lying-for-jobs/#ii-technically-true-is-still-a-lie

Despite this, we, the British electorate, are their potential employers; if you look at the raw voting numbers, it’s undeniable that, were we using a form of proportional representation, Reform would’ve gotten more seats, and those areas who voted Reform would be represented apropos. What I mean to say is: technically, their support is high from splitting the Tory vote, but first-past-the-post says no.

For the avoidance of doubt: I am not, and will never be, a Reform voter, but I can sympathise with those voters to the extent that something needs to change in British politics. I just don’t agree with what Reform’s idea of ‘change’ is. At a glance, it might look like a political party, but that isn’t strictly true. The devil’s in the details – it is, according to its own leadership, an entrepreneurial political start-up:

https://archive.is/VOwD6

In the interest of balance, here’s a similar article with Nigel Farage looking a bit more cheery (just a joke, lads):

https://www.thenational.scot/news/national/24387993.reform-uk-party-come-policies

This is, I suppose, our equivalent of what would happen if a venture capital-funded Silicon Valley startup decided to run for US President1. For a man who pledges to replace FPTP with a more democratic voting system like proportional representation2, Nigel Farage seems reliant on our belief that Reform is an accountable, democratic institution. Yet it is, like any private company, ruled from the top:

https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/reform-uk-nigel-farage-election-b2556355.html

If we, the British electorate, juuuuuust let Nigel get on with it, Reform will “democratise over time.” Sure. Twopence more, and up goes the donkey.

Sadly, Are Nige can’t stand for every constituency by himself, even if he wanted to (not that I believe he’s explicitly said as much, but hey, he can change his mind – “it’s allowed, you know”). Thus, when a political startup has to fill too many constituencies in too little time, it has to resort to the time-honoured tradition of parachuting:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parachute_candidate

Now, there’s been a story recently that Reform has not parachuted candidates. In fact, it’s done worse. Social media sleuths have been arguing whether Mark Matlock, candidate for Brixton, has been AI-generated this whole time:

https://bylinetimes.com/2024/07/03/reform-uks-invisible-candidates-who-are-they-hiding

https://www.reddit.com/r/ukpolitics/comments/1dwoz1b/why_is_no_one_talking_about_reforms_ai_generated/

No matter how desperate you are for this to be true, there’s no direct evidence as of writing that ties everything together. Personally, if it is true, I think the focus really ought to be squarely on Big Tech companies, their unaccountable power, and how that is the bigger threat to democracy. Any party could do this, not just Reform. It should be treated as a material issue well before it should be an ideological one.

Parachuting, meanwhile, was alive and kicking this election, and Reform seemed to be airdropping local candidates like it’s D-Day. We got one Reform flyer in the mail, and as per the one in the Byline Times’s thumbnail, it was just as wooden. It’s not really an inspiring pitch, is it? “You want Nigel Farage, a politician who tells it like it is? Sorry – here’s a picture of Nigel Farage. It’s the best we can do. Oh, by the way, vote for this other guy.”

Gimme something that’ll get my blood pumping, like Lee Anderson in Ashfield:

https://old.reddit.com/r/thethickofit/comments/1dso9nz/what_does_it_say_terri

Parachuting was a necessary tactic to make Reform look alive. Trouble is, I live in an area with lots of tight-knit communities, where being a local matters. Our Reform candidate was the only one on the ballot who did not have an address here. It’s political mythmaking 101: “If you don’t live here, you don’t know what we’re dealing with.” Whether it’s irrational to vote for a candidate on that basis is irrelevant; the thing about myths is that people tend to believe they’re true.


  1. How about that guy who wants to purge San Francisco of “Blues?”
    https://newrepublic.com/article/180487/balaji-srinivasan-network-state-plutocrat ↩︎
  2. In local Scottish elections (for Holyrood, not Westminster), we already have a form of PR. Here’s what the last election looked like:

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2021_Scottish_Parliament_election

    Nonetheless, I feel a footnote is necessary – if you support proportional representation, please, PLEASE do not fall for the schismogenesis trap and oppose it just because Farage thinks it’s a good idea:

    https://brologue.net/tag/schismogenesis/

    Do not base your belief in an objectively more democratic reform based on who’s supporting it at the moment. The very last thing you should do is let Farage monopolise the discourse around this policy for his own benefit. You will look like an absolute cock if you do.
    ↩︎